March 11, 2025

I don't think anybody is going to read this honestly, I'm just gonna write because I missed editing this site. Sorry for the absolute doomer shit of this entry. It's been really hard to do... anything, lately. I'm more depressed than I think I've ever been, and I've been depressed. It's hard to find motivation to do anything when I'm watching the world crumble, seeing my country warp into a fascist dictatorship before my eyes. I have my comic that I've been saying I'm going to remake for like seven years now; I found a script I wrote in high school that I want to redo; I've been having tons of ideas for a religious Soulslike game -- and I have no desire to work on any of them because life feels so pointless and shitty. I've been in my house for a month straight; I haven't seen another person aside from the two times I've gone to the grocery store. All my friends live far away, and they're all just as scared as I am. I don't even have a job I can go to to distract myself for a little while. I'm just alone and sad and in pain everywhere, probably malnourished, definitely lacking vitamin c... but what's the point anyway?

The last few months have put me firimly in the "humans are fundamentally evil" camp. That's not to say I thinik every human is evil, but I think now that it must just be hard-coded into our DNA to be shitty to each other. Like teaching a child to be kind and have empathy is like positive brainwashing to pull them out of the fucking Swamp of Evil that permeates human societal behavior. We're still violent, greedy animals who evolved to the Civilization Stage too quickly before our brains caught up with our technology. At least the plants and animals and the planet, they'll keep going and be fine after we're all gone; after all the humans are gone to stop raping our planet and obliterating its body and its creatures, eventually humanity will just be a distant, uncomfortable memory, and hopefully the cephalopod civilization will find our artifacts in a million years and not have any idea how horrible we were to each other. Hopefully they'll just rebury our shit and move on with their lives and not think about our shameful species.